Using CBT to Support Your Mental Health

Person sitting on the porch, looking out into the distance, appearing deep in thought.

How's Your Thinking?

Human beings by their very nature are self-deceptive. So, in some ways, we all lie about ourselves to ourselves. And this is part of the process of therapy: uncovering our own self-deception. Are we deceiving ourselves about our relationships or our substance use or our career path? Or maybe even our greatness? Sometimes, the deception is about not seeing how worthy and whole we already are.

If you are not currently in therapy, learning more about unhealthy thinking patterns could be a good place to start raising your awareness, ultimately giving you more freedom in your own life. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one way to highlight self-deception is to become aware of thinking styles that are reinforcing behaviors you want to change, these are called thought distortions.

Thought Distortions

All or Nothing Thinking (Black and White Thinking)

Classifying Things into One of Two Categories-

Look out for the words: ALWAYS, NEVER

"I bought nicotine again today. I'm never going to be able to quit."

Be aware of absolute statements.

"Everyone thinks I am a bad friend."

Jumping to Conclusions (Mind reading/ Fortune Telling)

Predicting what others will think or how an event will turn out-

"People will think I'm socially awkward if I go."

I know if I go to that party, people won’t talk to me.”

Justification

Linking two unrelated ideas to justify a decision-

"I've had a hard day at work so I deserve a drink (or four.)"

Magnification or Minimization

Blowing things out of proportion or shrinking the importance disproportionately-

"I woke up at 10 am so my day is completely ruined."

Or "Yea I drink every night but so do all my friends."

Labeling

Instead of being descriptive, a person might label instead-

Instead of "your behavior hurt my feelings" if you labeled you would say "You're an asshole."
Or instead of "I made a mistake," you may say, "I'm a loser."

Personalization or Blame

You may blame yourself for things that you aren't entirely responsible for. Or the other side of this, you might blame others and not take accountability for your part.

"If I had only been a better mother, then maybe I could have protected my child from..."

Or "I can't stand Charles, he always makes me drive him everywhere." (In this example, your responsibility lies in actually driving Charles and not saying, "No.")

Overgeneralization

Viewing a negative as a continual pattern of defeat-

“I had to park eight blocks away, I swear I’m cursed.”

Mental Filter

Overfocus on the negative and ignore the positives. Balancing this out take practice- our survival brain is constantly looking for threats so we must practice bringing our attention to what is going well, what we are doing well, and how things are working out in our favor!

“Should” Statements

Be wary of any statement involving a “should".” This could indicate self-criticism or guilt/regret. Often the word “should” indicates influence outside ourselves and could be an internalized voice that isn’t truly your own.

“I should have been nicer.” “I should have just lied rather than being honest.”

Okay, I identified a thought distortion, now what?

Write down the thought distortion you are noticing. This will make it easier to recognize as it comes up.
Challenge the thought: “Am I really cursed?” Well, last semester, I got that internship I wanted, I got a B in that challenging class and joined a new group so maybe I am not actually cursed.”
Check your self-talk and your tone. Give yourself the same respect and compassion you would a dear friend or even child.
Correct your own language. Instead of “gosh, I’m such an idiot for making that mistake” shift to “it probably would have been better if I avoided that mistake.”
Instead of thinking something is bad or good, practice utilizing the gray zone by evaluating an experience on a 1 to 100 scale. “Yes I fell on my face heading down the stairs after my speech but I did get that cute person’s number at the reception so the overall experience was a 65 out of 100.” (Not all good, not all bad.)
Reality check yourself. “No girls want to date me.” Check that statement out. “What about Miley, and Ray they wanted to date you?”
Instead of focusing on blaming yourself for the problem or marinating in regret, focus on finding a solution.
Check underlying assumptions/beliefs. Do I have a belief that I need to be perfect? What is my belief system around messing up/making a mistake? Where did that come from?
Instead of focusing on a mistake shift the focus to, “What did I learn about myself?”

And Remember,

Practice makes PROGRESS.

We have to be repetitive to reinforce new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting.

Learn more

Identify Thought Distortions